When hollowness creeps up on you in a sure steady pace and you're up against the wall of your skull knowing there is no way out and it is going to get you somehow, panic and frenzy ensues. Low of lows, emptiness flows through the chambers of your heart like liquid nitrogen; freezing the warmth of your blood that's been gushing through you with life. You recognize this experience of being down in the gutters of bleakness. You want to purge it out but it remains within your rectum like dehydrated stool in what seems to be the most glorious form of constipation. Enema falls short of being effective as it only manages to soften the outermost surface of the stool of emptiness and let the little washed out waste dribble out of the anus with no sign of total assuagement.
I use enema here as an analogy for short-lived life purposes I have seemed to have been engrossed in throughout these years. None have seemed to hold my steadfastness toward seeing it through to measuring heights of achievement. Still on the same path of searching and searching for what I know not, the ultimate raison d'être. Everything seems to be of false significance. Attachments prevailing for the validation of self and substantiality. Why hath the universe pronounced our actualization to fill this space on this floating rock if the only thing we are able of contributing is more damage and the identification of duality?
Why does it matter?
What is?
Why me?
Who am I?
GrymmRipper :]
I guess the enema of short-lived life purposes has to be transcended through the power of the will alone. As we grow in intelligence, the floodgates of knowledge are opened and we tend to get carried away in the gush. It will take a great deal of time for us, as a species, to regain our composure and get back on track. I suppose grymm rippers like me and you will have a role to play in that. Hopefully!
ReplyDeleteWill is not easy to come by. Only in the presence of passion it gushes forth with valor. I'm lacking in passion for the zing of life, good sir.
Deletep\s: thank you for taking the time to read my blog posts. These are more like episodic entries when i have mental purges.
Call them mental purges or flashes of brilliance. The posts could be like those moments when fishes come to the surface of water to gulp a breath of fresh air. Sometimes you put it in words, and sometimes it just vaporizes (probably as brain waves) merely into the realm of thought. Seen in a way, even great works of art could be called 'episodes of mental purges'. Maybe there is an invisible hand that pushes us once in a while to come out of the human zone and help us realize that there is something higher than that too.
DeleteHumans were supposed to be the crown of all creation, but the moment they realized that fact they lost their way...
PS: I have followed your blog to keep a tab on your mental purges; just in case I find some direction for my own life in there somewhere. Hope you don't mind?
Expression of varying sorts do have metaphysical qualities to them, perhaps too vague for the mediator such as me to see it from an observer's or reader's point of view. I like the analogy of fishes surfacing for air, pretty much sums up the whole process of our true consciousness moving in and out of our Maya.
DeleteP\s: Thank You! :) CHeers!