A Random Thought. #3

[I was going through my pocketbook when I came across a short entry containing my thoughts.They were written during my wait at the Gatwick Airport (14th of December 2011). Judging by the date, I was probably on my way back to Lugano to spend the Christmas with my mum.]

It is a wonder how life unravels with time. I am taken to places where I used to imagine about as a kid. At that time it was all just a dream but at this present point it is a part of my reality. Sometimes you wonder what have you done to deserve all this opportunity and what will be the price, that you would eventually have to pay to experience all of this?

In order to gain something we will have to lose something. Is our gain worth what we have lost?The future is a dream. The past is a memory, and the present time is reality.Yet, I have caught my thoughts lingering in the past and speeding through the future time and time again. My present time becomes a mystery as i can't keep my mind to focus on the here and now. With that I lose the chance to set things right.

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Ann

She cried again last night. As usual I had nothing to say but pat her to sleep. Almost two and a half years of continued weeping at night. Shouldering the burden of soothing a 7-year-old, what wisdom does a 10-year-old have to bring it to a stop. Lying next to me, sharing a single bed “Akka, where is mommy?”, the same question asked repeatedly, drowned only by the whir of the fan keeping us cool on sweltering summer nights. Looking at her this morning, you would never know the existence of her nightly griefs. Grandma held her hand whilst we both waited for our 6 a.m. school bus. Her short curly hair, dark blue primary pinafore, white shoes, slouching under the weight of her school bag pregnant with heavy textbooks, she looks so ordinary. Or maybe not, we both were unusually skinny and scrawny. Something we have constantly been made fun of at school; a few more years later down the line when we both approached puberty the bullying is only made worse for being flat ches...

Logic. Devoid of logic.

Your hands, they reach out. With no doubt, into empty space. Grab. Clench. Your fists, bring them close, place them under arrest. Close to your chest. Be at rest. Unclench. Stare! You stare, at empty palms. Cold, blue empty palms. Nothing! You've grasped nothing! Cold blue palms. They grasp nothing. A mind devoid of logic. You're bruised. You're abused, by its frolics. GrymmRipper. :]

Ruhaniyat.

The sacred green mountains, Lush forests and streams of vigor. I long to witness the sunrise above thy valleys. Take me to the sacred green mountains, So I may find myself, So I may quench this thirst, Thirst for transcendence, Thirst for oneness, Thirst for wholeness, To foster within me a boundless spirit, Evolving with every passing minute, An eternal stillness, Droning in fulfillment, Bliss. The sacred green mountains, Abode of the Gods, I hear your hums, Aum, Aum, Aum, Amongst thee, Ruhaniyat. GrymmRipper :]

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